Thinking Traps
Has the right side of your brain ever convinced the left side of your brain that something is true (or real) without actually presenting any solid evidence? If so, you may have experienced a cognitive distortion, also known as a thinking trap.
When you have a cognitive distortion, you may tell yourself things about an incident or a person that *appear* to be rational as a way to mask your deep rooted worries, fears, or insecurities. Sometimes, it's not even a specific event that brings on negative feelings -- it's our mindset and the way we respond to it. Aaron Beck, a psychologist, theorized that these distorted thought patterns are a trap and can lead to emotional dysfunction.
Here are some common thinking traps that you can get stuck in:
Black and White (or all or nothing)
This refers to thinking of possible outcomes in extreme terms that are either really good or really bad. This is problematic because it does not consider all the possibilities in the middle, which is usually where most of our life happenings land.
Example: After someone forgets your birthday once, you think, “They’re a terrible friend and they must not even like me.”
Mindreading
This is when you believe you know what others are thinking AND assume it’s negative. This is problematic because you can’t read other people’s minds – you can only make assumptions about what they’re thinking. Assumptions without evidence may lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where you start behaving as if the negativity is true.
Example: “I know she’s talking about me right now. She didn’t like the gift I gave her.”
Fortunetelling
This happens when you believe you can predict the future and tend to assume the worst-case scenario (especially if you experienced something negatively related in the past).
Example: “I failed my first exam and I know I’m going to fail the next one, too.”
Negative filtering
This type of thinking can impact your view of people and situations. It occurs when you only focus on the negative aspects without paying attention to the positive ones. By doing this, you ignore the things that are actually going well and may miss many enjoyable factors/traits. The negative things seem large while the positive things seem smaller to you.
Example: At a networking event, you had one awkward conversation and three great ones where you really connected with others. When you go home, you’re hyper-focused on the one that didn’t go as well.
Catastrophizing
In this type of thinking, you imagine the worst-case scenarios even when they are unlikely to happen in real life. This is problematic because it leads your brain to go into fight or flight mode (which is an automatic physiological reaction to something that is perceived as stressful or frightening) over a potentially false alarm.
Example: “I’m going to do poorly on the LSAT and be disowned by my family for being a failure.”
Overgeneralization
This type of thinking pattern is complex because it can happen on an individual level or can be community based. When you overgeneralize, you make a judgement about something or someone (including yourself!) based on 1-2 negative events, especially if they happened recently. You start to assume that the outcome of the negative event can be applied to many other situations.
Example: If a friend gets upset with you, you start to think that all your friends will get upset with you AND that you will continue to do upsetting things.
"Should" statements
This type of thinking can sometimes stem from within a family unit or through belonging to a specific community where there are rules and expectations on how everyone should or shouldn’t behave. This mindset can be limiting and prevent you from exploring different parts of your identity.
Examples: “I shouldn’t feel anxious because there’s nothing to be worried about,” or “I shouldn’t eat junk food.”
Need to be right
When you get trapped in this type of thinking, you feel personally attacked when people think that you’re wrong so you go out of your way to prove that you’re right. This behavior is problematic because it usually comes off as defensive and aggressive. Eventually, being right becomes more important than the feelings of the people you’re talking to, including your partner, family, or close friends.
Example: “I’m right and you’re wrong so just admit it.”
If any of these resonated with you, please know that it's totally normal to experience moments of these thoughts! Self-awareness is key here. You can overcome these by first understanding what they are and then reflecting on how they appear in your life. Once you start paying attention, it'll be easier to identify and stop them before they take over.